Clara gazed at the phone long before she reached for it and tipped the number. She wasn't sure if he would answer her call – not because he would've not wanted to speak to her (however, it was a possibility too), just because he had a home now. Why would he be in his rusty old time machine?... She couldn't even imagine how her old friend would exist without his blue phone box, but she guessed he left it on a junkyard, or somewhere else to rot. She sighed, but touched the “call” button. The phone rang long, she almost cancelled it, when a long heard voice answered.
'Yeah?' she heard that Scottish accent, and smile lapsed on her face.
'Hello.' she managed to say, her thoughts running faster than her tongue.
'Who's there?' she heard the Doctor's annoyed voice and came to mind.
'It's me... Clara.' she told, and felt tears coming to her eyes.
'Clara?' she heard weariness in his voice.
'Yes, it's me, the impossible girl.' she told again, trying to hide the tears behind a cheer voice.
'Clara!' the Doctor sounded relieved. 'What can I do for you? I thought you lived happily ever after with PE.'
Danny, the memory came to her as painful as every second in her life. She felt a lump in her throat, and knew she had to shun the topic.
'Yeah... How's Gallifrey?' she tried to sound cheer, while her heart bet hard for keeping her true feelings hidden. 'I thought you were President or something for this time.'
'Gallifrey... Yes, Gallifrey is great, and I'm no President.' he told the half-lie so very firmly she didn't have a glimpse to think about.
'Good.' she replied immediately, feeling embarrassed about the question. 'Sso...' she tried to collect herself.
'Yes?' the Doctor asked suspiciously, trying to search his friend through her voice.
'Urm...' Clara rubbed her forehead, and took a deep breath before asking 'I was wondering if you would visit some time... Just in case you have an hour or two, I won't stick you up.' she added hurriedly, trying to avoid his negative answer. But she got nothing. There was silence on the other end of the line. After a moment it began to became awkward.
'Doctor?' Clara tried to make him speak, but he stayed silent. After a minute she heard his silent voice.
'What's the matter, Clara?' he asked.
'Matter? There's no matter, I just wanted to meet an old friend again.' she answered a bit too soon, a bit too innocent. She heard a pause, and then a disturbing noise, and then a cling – too close to come from the other end of the universe. She dropped the phone and with fast beating heart she turned around – and an unbelieving smile tried to win over her lips, and tears filled her eyes. The squeak of the blue door sounded so familiar, so kind, and the grey-haired Scottish man, who stood in the door was more kind and more marvellous than anything in the world. She forget everything and ran to him and fell in his neck, tears running down on her cheeks. She knew somewhere he wouldn't give the hug back – no, that was an other Doctor, a Doctor who died long ago – but still, she hugged him so tight so he couldn't slip away like a dream. She didn't care if he didn't give it back: he was there, her old best friend, the only one she got left in the world.
'Hello.' the Doctor told puzzled, a bit annoyed. She didn't say anything, she knew what he thought, but she didn't care.
'Clara...' he tried to slipe her from his neck, without success. He rolled his eyes and sighed – and waited till she calmed and let him go by herself.
'You're here.' she touched his face unbelievingly, but he grabbed her hand and pulled it down.
'Yes, I'm here – you called me.' he bent his brows.
'Yes I did.' the girl still stood there, gazing at his face grinning like a child. 'Yes I did and you came.'
'I came, yes. What did you expect?' he stepped away from her and began to analyse the room. Her mood sank, and the smile disappeared.
'I expected you to leave the TARDIS somewhere out of sight and have fun with your Time Lord friends.' she crossed her arms.
'Yeah? I expected you to forget me and live a life with PE. As speaking of him, where is he? Shouldn't he be here with his lovely girlfriend?' he asked a bit too edgily, and it made Clara's soul frozen.
'Danny is dead.' she split out, and the Doctor turned around to look at her pale, stony face.
'I helped him to come back.' he frowned, hesitating. She nodded, her face unchanged.
'And he never did.' she told, still cold and unmoved like a stone.
'How do you mean? Where is he now? What did he...' anger grow in the Time Lord, but Clara cut him off.
'He sent back a boy instead of himself. A boy who... died unfairly.' She didn't need him to judge Danny for killing a boy from a mistake. She didn't need.
'Selfish.' she heard the word in an angry Scottish voice, and frowned.
'Selfish?! He decided to die in stead of an innocent child, and you dare call him selfish!'
'Yes, yes I do!' the Doctor turned to her with new anger. 'He decided to leave life, and leave you alone. He decided peace instead of fighting fear, guilt, and fight for love. Yes, I call that selfish.'
Clara shook her head disbelievingly. How could he say that?! How dare he say?!
'Danny Pink was the most self-sacrificing, most kind man I've ever know, and you know what? You can't even say his name in the same sentence of yours. He was a better man should ever existed in this damned universe, and I'd never let you say he was selfish ever!' she shouted at him, tears flowing from her eyes, her voice and body shaking from rage. The Doctor looked at her, and narrowed his eyes.
'You are right.' he told, and stepped back to the TARDIS, and inside. He paced to the console and began to tip things on the keyboard. Clara's face went paler, if it was possible.
'What are you doing?' she asked horrified.
'Going away, what did you think?' the man told from inside, and pulled the scanner in front of him.
'You can't leave me. Not like him.' Clara shook her head and hurried inside the blue phone box. The Time Lord straightened himself, and narrowed his eyes.
'What are you doing?' he asked, searching the girl.
'What do it look like? I'm coming with you.'
'You can't.'
'Why? Inferior species like humans can't put their feet on your holy Gallifreyan land?' she asked still full with anger, but more freely now, that she was inside the time-machine.
'I've never found Gallifrey.' the Doctor told, his eyes fixed on her. She frowned.
'But you said...'
'Yes, I lied. One more bad habit your Danny was lack of.' he told, and set the engines going. Clara still stood by the door as it slammed, but she didn't care. She was still choosing between being hacked off, or pity the old man. She stepped closer to the Time Lord.
'You told Gallifrey was great.' she neared the man cross-armed.
'Dinosaurs were great but they are gone. Can we help it? No. Move on.' he told darkly, and continued tipping the keys.
'How can you be so cold about your home?! You have no living part in yourself I say.' her face twisted, and a disbelieving puffing noise she made. The Doctor stopped tipping.
'It happened more than a thousand years ago, and I still feel the guilt burning my fingers, when I pushed that big red button. And still, I'm here, and you know what kept me alive all these years? Guilt. And that's what keep me saving you stupid little humans from yourselves. I wish I've died in that war instead...' he muttered, and in Clara's heart there lit up a flame of understanding this long-lived life, and all his deeds. She stepped closer, and stopped right in front of him.
'What's?' the old man asked puffing. She searched his face for a minute, frowning, wanting to know all the things he went through – understanding what he had to feel all the time.
'You are old.' she told at last, and it made the Doctor roll his eyes. He turned and went back to his deed.
'You're older you should be, and still carrying this burden. How can you bear it? I want to know.' she insisted, but it made no use on the man.
'I want to know, 'cause I have to have something to bear my own weight. Help me.' she followed him around the console, and at last he stopped. He looked at her, and she felt a hint of his former self in his eye: all weariness, all kindness, all guilt – without anger and sarcasm: the man she met years before, and she decided was worth to follow.
'I can't.' his voice was gentle, and she felt his anger melting for a moment. 'I'm sorry, Clara. I'm changing all the time, yet I can't find a way to bear the weight. I just carry it, further than anyone should. Twelve lives is a burden even alone, and I've got twice that burden, beside my crime which can't be forgiven and can't be forgotten. I can not help you.' he told, and for a moment Clara saw those pretty sorrowful green eyes she liked so much when he looked still different. But the Doctor shook his head and straightened.
'I'll carry you home.' he told firm, and she did not argue. She knew it was no good in it. She knew he wanted some time alone, thinking or beating something to pieces – she wasn't sure. She just knew she found something she could hang on, whatever happened in the past or will in the future.
'Thank you, Doctor.' she kissed him on the cheek when she heard the landing-sign. From the door she turned back, and a sad smile sat on her lips.
'Will you come and get me next Wednesday?' she asked remembering his amusing answer she got from his former self. Somehow she knew she won't get it again – not from this Scottish old man.
'Wednesday.' he nodded, and looked away from her to the console. She nodded too, and stepped out of the blue box, closing the door behind her. She turned to look as it disappeared with the familiar humming noise, and sighed deeply, swallowing her tears back. 'Cause whatever shelter she found in the renegade Time Lord, things didn't change with a roar. And someone's little girl was taken from the world that night.