After the Zion I felt a bit homeless. I was quite okay, but I felt sad homesickness, I never understood where to. The Severnaja wasn't the place I wanted to go back, it was too cold – in temperature and athmosphere either. Yes, there were my friends. My little family of researchers, a small community of kind people, but they weren't I was feeling lack for. It was an inexplicable absence I felt in my soul.
I was sitting in the control room, sipping my hot tea, when the Doctor stepped behind me. I heard him coming, but did not want to react on his presence – I was deep in my thoughts and did not want to be waken from them. But he did not knew it.
'Everything's alright, Lily?' he sat on his heels next to me. I pulled up my eyebrows and turned my head to him. I opened my mouth to answer when I got insecure. I closed it and frowned, and decided to ask back rather than answer his question.
'Where are we going next?' I felt I did not convinced him about my heart. He frowned and searched me cautiously.
'Where do you want to go?' he asked in a cagey voice. I shrugged. First I thought to leave it to him, but I changed my mind.
'You know...' I paused for a moment. 'I did count the days I've spent with you, and I think it's December now in Severnaja Zemlja...' I wondered. He stood at the consol by then and adjusted something. I saw him blinking at me expectantly.
'It is what you want on Earth, Lily. It's a time machine.' he said still cagey.
'I know...' I argued 'but the time I've spent with you... If I'd spent it on Earth, with the others, then we'd held Christmas now... It feels weird...' I sighed. He stopped what he did and came back next to me.
'Do you want me to bring you...'
'No!' I cut him off. 'Never. I don't want to go home, I just... I don't know... Something I'm missing...' I looked up at him. 'What am I missing, Doc?' He smiled sadly.
'We all miss something, Lily. We don't exactly notice it, we just feel deep inside. The gap someone left after herself, the absence of somebody's vioce who's gone, the tiny little things we can't experience after we flew away from a beloved place. These things we miss, however, we don't realize their absence. Not you, not humans.' he added silently, not looking at me. I felt he was right, I felt I missed something I couldn't draw, a tiny thing, which I couldn't find out. I turned to him with a new mind.
'Where's the most beautiful Christmas in the universe?' I asked with a new attendance. His face lit up and immediately began his funny hurry-skurry with the handles and buttons. The TARDIS shook, I almost fell off, but we landed.
'Huh.' I breathed. 'Where are we?' I grinned.
'Christmas.' he hurried to the door. I looked at him like at a kook.
'I did not ask when are we, I asked where.' I commented.
'Yes, we are on Christmas.' he explained aglow pointing at the door with both thumbs. I pulled up my eyebrows and let out a small 'ah' of realization. He reached out his hand.
'Are you coming?'
I broke into a smile and hurried to took his hand.
'Sure enough; how wouldn't I?!' I laughed from ear to ear. He grabbed my hand and opened the TARDIS door wide.
I remember the Christmas days of my childhood, but no feeling could reach for that I felt in that moment. It wasn't the glimmering white snow or the heavenly chant ot the little colorful lights which made it: it was the smell. The smell of fresh-backed bread, the sweet spices, the fir, the pastries, the snow... The pureness of the unmingled joy, the city – the city!
'Where's the city?' I frowned. I thought a planet called Christmas would look more like London (without the crowd and dirt and smog) at the holidays. But there wasn't any city. There was only snow and lights and people and gladness. I blinked at the Doctor confused, but his face sparkled with excitement – like a little boy having the first glance at his Christmas presents.
'Look at that!' he jumped like a goat. 'This place never changes! Look at the trees, the lamps, the chestnut-men! Oooh I did forget how splendid this planet is!'
I smiled at his childish delight and stepped out the box at his side. The chilly air bristled up my hair, but I did not mind. I felt blessed and happy once again, like in my early childhood, like with my mum and dad at home in Glasgow. I hooked on to the Doctor and followed him hurrying around the crowd.
'Look at this!' he grabbed a toy and flipped it and put it back at the counter of the stall. 'Everything the same, the exactly same!' he whistled with joy. I laughed at him, and stepped to a stall to look at a strange moving plant.
'Oh no no no, do not touch it.' the Doctor pulled back my hand and grabbed the thing. 'You humans are allergic to it.'
'And you aren't.' I made a face.
'Lucky me.' he grinned almost frantic and tossed it back at the counter. I sighed and rolled my eyes but smiled and followed him to a posset-vender.
'Two butterbeers and a gob of chestnuts please.' I heard him say. I would've tried to disagree but it was too late when I realized his ask. I felt the beer heating my hands.
'Doctor...'
'Hush, it's a free gift. Drink.' he ordered, and I made a face.
'Sorry, I tried to tell you...'
He pushed his finger on my lips.
'Drink.' he ordered, and I sighed. I did not like butterbeer at all. My mother once made and I flenched up after it, and it wasn't my mind to vomit in the middle of a feting crowd. But I decided not to disappoint the Doctor, so I tasted it.
'Hmm...' I astonished. It tasted great.
'I told you.' he grinned like a child and pulled me after him.
'The good thing at Christmas is, that there isn't any local population here, therefore no traffic or construction is allowed on the planet. No buildings and roads, only the fair and the calefactories. The planet was found nearly a hundred years ago, when the humans were far off in the galaxy, looking for new places to colonize. This little satellite orbits around an inhabited planet called Julius, but meets the reaches the range only in every ten years – and it's cold and dark and snowy, so it wasn't in your interest to move on it. But the first researcher who got a glimps on it remembered his home at christmastime, and suggested to name it to Christmas and deployed lights and stalls and everything he missed about the winters on Earth.'
I listened carefully, till every information he gave about this place brought it closer to my heart.
'What age we write?' I asked excited.
'Fourthousand-sixty-seven.' he checked his watch and then hummed. 'I did not land this planet so far in the future yet.' He grinned at me and hurried to a stall.
'Oi! What happened here since Thirty-nine-eighty-nine?' he asked. The vender shrugged.
'Nothing peculiar. The nights went longer, but nothing else.' he said. The Doctor frowned.
'Longer? How do you mean longer?' he smiled at me. I saw that particular glanze in his eyes, when he smelled something strange but did not want me to know it.
'Just as I said. We move on the same orb, only the nights are longer. They say it's because Julius' quantum-energy absorption. Who knows!' he laughed and turned away. The Doctor slowly turned back to me and his face was troubled.
'Not the quantum-energy absorption, I guess?' I tried to ease the situation.
'No, not likely.' he paced slowly towards the other direction.
'I expected...' I murmured and followed him to a new adventure.
'The Julius is an M-type planet, like Earth, it does not absorb any quantum-energy. It can't have any effect on this satellite, it is meanless.' he explained when I reached him.
'Then why did he say it? How did he know anything about quantum-energy? He was just a vender!' I said confused.
'It's the forty-first century, everyone knows about the quantum-energy! Maybe they don't exactly know what it is, but they know what it does.'
'What does it do?' I asked.
'Energy. Don't you listen?!' he frowned at me. I sighed.
'So it is a source of power. Where do they gain it?'
He stopped. I knew that face: when I asked something important, he always looked like that.
'Yeah, where do they gain it?' he breathed. Then he began to pace forward. 'Quantum-energy is a tricky thing; you can't just mine it like coal. Everything has its own quantum-energy, every creature, every single object, even the soil has got quantum-energy. It's the force between the atomic particles, which is enormous but difficult to come at. Some races learnt how to use it and you humans bought the technology from them. You use the procedure, but don't know the principle. It could've caused problems, but the Diäghura know how to secure their factories.' he stopped there.
'Do you think there are problems with the exploitation?' I frowned.
'Possibly.' he nodded. 'Let's find out.' he turned towards the TARDIS. I followed him quickly and in a minuit we were in the time machine.
'I'm looking for drain of quantum-energy towards the main planet, but I can't find anything.' he shook his head from behind the consol while typing something and checking the screen.
'What more, I can't find the trace of any quantum-energy use...' he went on.
'But that makes no sense, that man spoke about it.' I said frustrated.
'Maybe he trusts there is.'
'Deceit?'
'Maybe. We shall see it.' he looked at me.
'To the planet?' I smirked.
'To the planet.' he affirmed and pulled and pushed the yellow arm on the consol. The TARDIS made only a dinging noise by landing. I crossed my arms.
'Hey, how did you do that? No shake, no landing noise... I thought she can't do it in other way.' Of course I expected she could, but never had the courage to ask.
'I landed her silently, because didn't want to make a stir. Now come, we have to pass into the power-house.' He stepped to the door, and opened it silently. There was no one outside, and we slipped out from the little blue box. I followed him towards the main gate, and noticed the guards by the traverse.
'How would we pass over them?' I whispered.
'Psychic paper.' only he said. I rolled my eyes.
'I would never understand how people can see anything on a blank paper. It's just empty!' I argued.
'No it isn't, although I still don't understand how it does not have an effect on you. Even I can see things on it, if I want.'
I shrugged.
'I'm clever.'
'Not that much.' he slapped back and we arrived to the gate.
'Stop!' one of the guards shouted at us, and we obeyed.
'Identify yourselves!' he stepped into our way. The Doctor showed him the psychic paper.
'The Doctor and Lilian Orwell, power-house supervisors.'
'Yes, sir. Pass, sir.' the guard saluted. 'Shall I ring Mr. Boulborg?' he asked.
'Yes, please. Tell him to lead me to the central energy-gainer. And bring along the log sheet!' he shouted back while we paced towards the building.
'Yes, sir!' I heard the man shouting and walking back in to the pulpit. My heart was throbbing in my troath but I tried to breath steadily.
'It is worse than the tower at Cold Spring Harbour...' I whispered to him. He frowned at me.
'Worse?!' he asked amazedly.
'It is. There they did not know we were there at least.'
'At the beginning...' he made a mouth and continued to pace towards the building. I sighed and walked at his heels. I did not dare to risk to lose him from view.
We reached the building and entered it – and bumped into a man who hurried against us.
'Ah, sir, sorry sir – ma'am.' he nodded to me. I looked comically at him: he was a short man with few brown hair and funny glasses, and a bit overweight.
'Please sir, I am doctor Dulmark, Mr. Boulborg sent me to bring you around. This way, sir, please.'
'Thank you, doctor.' the Doctor smirked.
'Why are you grinning?' I whispered to him. He came back to reality and frowned at me.
'What? Sorry.' he asked back.
'I asked why you were grinning.' I whispered again while following the little man.
'Oh, nothing, nothing.' he said in an uncle-ish voice, and stepped to our guide.
'Could you tell me, please, doctor Dulmark, who built this estabelishment? he asked him.
'Oh, yes sir, of course, sir. It was Mr. Boulborg's father, Mr. William Boulborg. He founded the QECJ.' he explained.
'QECJ?' I asked back.
'Quantum-Energetic Corporation Julius. It's the company's name. But... I thought you were supervisors...' he frowned.
'Oh, yes, yes, it's only that my companion arrived last day from Santa Cloude and she did not have the time to look trough your files.' the Doctor saved the situation.
'Oh, from Santa Cloude! I would like to live there. That sun of theirs! Just like the sun of Earth's. Home, sweet home.' he said with a luscious face.
'When was the last time you were there?' the Doctor smiled at him. The little man blushed red and dropped his eyes.
'I... I never really was on Earth...' he stummered. We looked at each other and amuzed at him.
'But they say... The oldie... that its sun is yellow, almost white... not like this red thing... It hurts my eyes...'
'It's because the gamma-rays. The sun is emitting it.' the Doctor shrugged.
'Yes, I know... I heard that Santa Cloude's sun isn't gammatic. That's why I would like to live there.'
The Doctor smiled at him.
'Maybe you will, one time.' he patted the man's shoulder. 'But now – could you tell about the procedure of the gain to my companion till I look through the log sheet?'
'Of course, sir.' he handed the holoscreen to the Doctor and turned to me. 'We gain the energy from the the sun – this is the only advantage of that star. It's emitting microparticules excited by the gamma-rays which we intercept and direct to the central energy-gainer where we draw out the most of the energy, and then let the rest to the secondary and thirdly energy-conventers. The few remaining particules we redirect to the sun.' he explained. I did learn quantumphysics and began to understand the main principle of the procedure.
'I see. Please forgive me, I did not learn a lot of quantum-energetics. Could you please explain how the extraction works?' I tried to make my most affable face.
'Uhm... I'm really sorry, ma'am, I cannot. The Diäghura keep their secrets very safe.' he made an apologizing face.
'I see. But surely you can show me the central energy-gainer.' I smiled gently.
'Of course, ma'am. This way, please.' he waved, and then got a glance of the Doctor. 'Do you want to check the central energy-gainer too, sir?' he asked. The Doctor looked up from the holoscreen.
'Oh, thank you, doctor, but these files are really exciting. I would like to examine them for some more minuits. Miss Orwell, for a word, please.' he waved to me. I stepped close to him.
'It seems the files are genuin, but they report on some weird energy-fluctuation. Go with the doctor and look for any anomaly, I'm going back to the TARDIS to run some tests. Don't do anything stupid and take care of yourself, got it?' he looked in my eyes seriously. It made me nervous.
'Got it.' I nodded.
'Alright, doctor Dulmark, take this lady down to the energy-gainer.' he cried out loudly. I grimaced – why should he always make sensation...
'Yes, sir.' the little man smiled and stepped to me. 'Ma'am.' I nodded to him, but my eyes were on the Doctor. On his face was a wide smile, but I knew he was troubled. I could see it in his eyes... He nodded to us and I turned away and followed the little man to the elevator.
'The gainer is with the modernest technology, it would please you, ma'am.' he gushed.
'Yes, I'm sure.' I smiled at him, but my thoughts were on the Doctor. Why did he always do the job alone, why didn't he want me to be by his side? Along the time I learnt he suffered a lot, lost people kind to his heart, and I understood he did not want to lose someone again. But I wanted to help him, and I could not, and it broke my heart. I sighed.
'Are you alright, ma'am?' the little man frowned. I came to my senses.
'Oh, yes, yes, sure, I am.' I faked a smile and decided to began a conversation to keep my thoughts busy.
'So, doctor Dulmark, you haven't been on Earth yet?' I smiled kindly. He shook his head and answered while we left the elevator.
'No, sadly, no. It is far away, more than ten thousand lightyears! It would take three months to get there...' his face went sad. 'You know I always wanted to go, but here's my job, my old mother... She came here when she was a little girl, she do not want to leave Julius. She says Earth is too noisy, too dirty... However, I would like to see our home planet.'
I smiled. I knew that feeling, when you missed something so big, which you never experienced before...
'Earth is beautiful. The cities, the sea, the ice and the sun... It's like... Home, I think...' I wondered.
'You've been on Earth!' he cried out. I laughed gently.
'Yes, I spent my whole life on Earth till I met the Doctor.'
'Really? What a luck! I guess he offered you a good money to leave the planet.' he got to realization of his sentence. 'Oh, apologize my rudeness, ma'am - I ment, I know they do this, they took people from Earth to reduce its population density. I did not want to say anything wrong at you or the honoured Doctor, of course.' His face went pale, and I would've liked to laugh, but I did not dare.
'To be honest, he offered me something better than money, doctor. He offered me to see the universe.' I smiled, and saw the amazement on his face.
'I completely understand you, ma'am. There was a time when I did want to see the universe myself, but now only Earth is my desire.'
'Maybe one time you'll see it.' I smiled at him. In that moment I got a glamps of the central energy-gainer.
'Is that we are up to?' I frowned.
'Yes, it is, ma'am.' he nodded. 'The central energy-gainer.'
I hurried up and stepped into the hall. It was enormous: the hall, the machine, the whole thing. I was fascinated, but somehow I had a strange feeling about it.
'I'll check the regulators.' I told the little man. 'Could you show me were they are?' I pulled up my eyebrows.
'Of course, ma'am.' He lent me to a panel which was somehow similar to a twenty-forth century control panel. I looked at it, and pushed some random buttons, which I thought would lead me to the verify state.
'Uhm, ma'am...' the little man cleaned his troath.
'Yes?' I asked very self-confident, although I sensed he knew I can't operate the program.
'It's a Diäghur model – may I help you to control the data?'
I stepped back and lied.
'They taught me how to operate alien machines, but if you like to...'
He smiled confusedly, but stepped to the panel and pushed some other buttons.
'What may I show you, ma'am?' he asked. I began to think. What would the Doctor look for, first?
'Check me the last month's incoming particules-extracted energy quotient and tell me if there's any anomaly compared to the average.'
He did as I told, and gave me the data.
'The average extraction per particules is one hundred microjules, but here are values less than ten microjules too. We detected it a week ago. Usually there are anomalies like this in this season of the year. It is common, if you like.' he shrugged. I began to think.
'Was it always common? I mean, years ago, did you detect same anomalies?'
'As far as I know, yes, ma'am. But you can ask Mr. Doctor, he's got the log sheet.' he shrugged.
'The Doctor.' I corrected him.
'Excuse me?' he frowned.
'Just the Doctor. No mister or anything. It's his name. Simply the Doctor.' I explained. He pulled up his eyebrows.
'I see, ma'am. Excuse me.' he said cautiously.
'You're welcome.' I smiled. 'Alright then. Do something the Doctor can't.' I hummed to myself. And then realized I missed something.
'What date we write?' I turned to the small man. He frowned and looked at me comically.
'Twenty-fourth of December, ma'am. Tomorrow's Christmas day.' he said.
'Christmas...' I repeated whispering. And the realization came.
'Take me up!' I jumped to the man. 'Take me up, I have to speak to the Doctor!' I shouted and began to run to the elevator. The little man hardly stick the stroke, but followed me running. He reached me at the elevator.
'What... what happened... ma'am?' he piped.
'Just call the elevator. I have to speak to the Doctor.' I said nervously. He obeyed, and in a minuit we were up on the ground floor. I bursted out from the elevator and ran out from the building – and blumped into the Doctor, who came running from the other direction.
'Christmas!' he shouted.
'I know!' I shouted back, whereon he stopped and frowned at me.
'How?' he groaned out lastly.
'The anomalies. They are always around Christmas.'
'I know.' he said dread-like. I frowned.
'What's the matter, Doctor?' Honestly, I knew that face; he looked at me like that when I realized something he thought I wasn't able. However, I always asked what the matter was whenever he did that face.
'How did you know?' he asked troubled. I shrugged.
'I asked about it.'
'You did.' he facted frowning. 'But how do you know what it means?' he asked again. I frowned.
'I told you. I'm clever.'
'Not that much.' he pushed me to one side.
'Always around Christmas. And the nights are longer every year.' he spoke to the arriving scientist.
'They are, sir. On Christmas, not on Julius, sir.' he breathed deeply.
'Why?!' Someone directs the quantum-energy to Christmas, to darken the day, but why?' he paced up and down. And he stopped. 'How long the day is now on the satellite, doctor?' he turned to the little man.
'Uhm... About ten hours, sir, I guess. The rest is night, sir.' he counted hurriedly.
'Ten hours...' the Doctor's mind crackled almost audibly.
'Like on Earth in December...' I wondered.
'What did you say?' the Doctor spinned around to face me. I pulled up my eyebrows.
'In December, on Earth, the sun rises at around six thirty, and sets around four thirty. It depends on...'
'The equatorial, yes, I know.' he cut me off. 'But why?...' he thought. 'Why would anyone create a night so long on a planet on which naturally days are thirteen hours long? Why?...' he paced again. I frowned.
'Because it's Christmas.' a new voice said. I caught up my head, and saw the Doctor do the same.
'On Earth, the days are nine hours fourty-eight minuits long at twenty-fifth of December, in London.' I gawped, the Doctor frowned.
'Why, doctor, why?...' he faced the little man.
'Earth... It is our home planet...' the scientist smiled weakly. The Doctor narrowed his eyes.
'You wanted to make Christmas... to Earth.' he facted. The little man nodded, and I saw he was so lorn, so lonely... I sighed.
'Because you wanted to feel what they feel on Earth by Christmas...' I looked at him. I felt tears coming to my eyes.
'Because you wanted to feel like you were at home...' I smiled weakly at him. The Doctor sighed. He looked at me, and then at him, and then sighed heavily.
'Humans... So sentimental, hugging to your small stuffs, your traditions... and your home – even if you've never got a glamps on it. So... humanish.' he sighed. I sniffed, and smiled at the little man. He smiled back sadly.
'I did not want to hurt anybody, turly. The radiation isn't injurious, everyone is safe. I... I visited the Diäghura, and asked if it is possible to detract light with absorbing quantum-energy, and they told me yes, and told me how to retool the system to make it. I did not want anything wrong, I just wanted to experience what they do on Earth. You should understand me: I heard so many about our home planet from my grandma, she always told me Earth was a beautiful and so cosy planet. Here on Julius there's no winter, there's nothing like long nights... I just wanted to percieve it...'
He spoke so silently, full with guilt, and I could not do anything just feel sorrow for him. Someone, who could never see his home, doing something to make it come nearer, and thinks society throws stones at him. They never knew who made it, though, I thought.
'Doctor...' I prickled him. He spinned around, and frowned at me.
'You just prickled me!' he staggered. I pulled up my eyebrows.
'Yes.'
'Don't do that. It feels weird.' he said confused.
'Sorry. But...' I began. He pulled up his eyebrows. I sighed. 'We could... Couldn't we... show him Earth?' I made my best face to carry him over. Fist he made an angry face, but then seeing my entreating eyes, he sighed.
'Alright.' he yielded and cleaned his troath. 'Doctor Dulmark, would you like to see Christmas on Earth?' he made the pledge. The little man pulled a long face.
'M... m... may I?' he stummered. I lapsed into a smile, and saw the Doctor's face lighten too.
'Earth is waiting for you.' the Doctor stepped to him, and patted his shoulder. 'Come on, you deserve to see your home.'
I felt I could kick up my heels, and followed them grinning.
'For a minuit, sir, please...' the scientist stopped after a couple of steps, frowning. 'You said... for Christmas...' he frowned deeper. 'We are three months from Earth – how do we arrive for Christmas? It's... impossible...' he swung his head. The Doctor smirked, and looked at me. I rolled my eyes, but grinned, however.
'Wait and see.' he whispered to the man, and his face lit up – although I saw he did not understand the situation. I followed them to the TARDIS laughing inside. When the Doctor stepped to the little blue box, the man frowned.
'Sorry sir, but what's this? I've never seen an object like this before. What's that doing with police?'
The Doctor smirked again, and I rolled my eyes smiling. That man... So fond of his one and continual companion.
'This is the TARDIS. Time And Relative Dimension In Space.' he translated the acronym for him. The little man gawped, but did not know what to say.
'My spaceship.' the Doctor added, and opened the door with a fingerslap (showing off, again). He stepped in, and I lent the astonished man into the box.
'She can travel in space and time and any dimension, between the void of the realities (okay, that I did just twice), plus, she's beautiful!' he cried out in his so common voice. I laughed heartily at him, and our passanger amazed at the time-machine. The Doctor hit in the coordinates, and the ship shook and then made the common landing noise, and he hurried to us.
'Lovely, isn't she?' he put his arm around the little man's shoulder, and disclosed the door. 'Planet Earth, fourty-thousand-sixty-seven, twenty-fifth of December: it's Christmas day! Come on, look around!' he jumped out of the TARDIS, and I followed him, taking the little man's hand to lead him to his home planet. He stepped out, and like a child in a candy shop, looked around with wide eyes and opened mouth.
'It's... it's... so big... so... so...' he stummered, but could not finish the sentence through crying. I hugged him lightly, and smiled with happiness.
'Does it look like in your dreams?' I asked him, and he nodded, but could not say a word. I fondled his back, and left him, to speak to the Doctor.
'Thank you.' I stepped to him.
'It's Christmas. People does good things to each other at Christmas. Even if he swallowed the light of a planet.' he shrugged.
'I know...' I blinked at him. 'But he did not do it from evil. 'He's just... lost... like me...' I added silently. The Doctor frowned at me.
'You are not lost, Lilian Orwell. I'm here for you.' he hugged me – and I realized, he did not hugged me before. I felt tears coming in my eyes.
'Thank you, Doctor.' I whispered, and he let me go. I sniffled and wiped my eyes.
'Are you alright?' he looked at me.
'Yes, yes, I am.' I smiled, and blinked back at the little scientist. 'Did you bring him to the last green place in the forty-first century Earth?' I asked wondering. He shrugged.
'Maybe it's better to make him feel Earth is like he imagined.' I laughed lightly, and smiled at him.
'Thank you, Doctor.'
He smiled back, and we went to show doctor Dulmark the miracle of Christmas Earth – just like he imagined as a little boy.