He knew it already. He knew although he didn't know who she was. But he knew: she is his wife. She will be.
They slept beside each other that night. To be correct: laid beside each other, 'cause the Doctor couldn't sleep a minuit. He laid on his back and watched the stars which the TARDIS put on the canopy for them. She was happy, he could feel it. The TARDIS knew something what he did not, and he felt it was a good thing. However, he din't have a clue what it was.
He turned on his side and looked at her. She seemed so calm, so peaceful, so beautiful. He reached out to touch her but when she stirred he took his hand back nervously. She let out a little murr but slept on. He rolled back on his back.
The morning after started beaming, she woke up after a couple of hours he left her. She walked into the control room and smiled at him.
'Good morning Sweetie.' She chirped and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed a bit but smiled.
'Good morning River. Slept well?' He asked.
'Uhum.' She nodded and stepped to the consol to push some buttons and look on the scanner.
'Where are we up to?' She asked yowning.
'Don't know. Any wishes?' He pulled his eyebrows. She looked at him her eyes playfully narrowed.
'Well...' She began. He stood up and walked behind her.
'Don't take the trouble. I have something for you.' He said. And started to push buttons what she corrected following him laughing.
'So wishes you mean?' She giggled. He frowned and pointed at her.
'You are the most annoying human I've ever met.' He said but did not mean. Well, he ment it, but he knew he liked her much more for complaining about it. She frowned.
'Annoying?' He crossed her arms.
'Well...' He began but she cut him off.
'So where are you taking me?' She looked away.
'Spoilers.' He smiled playfully. She smiled but he could see the sadness behind her smile.
'What's wrong?' His smile faded.
'Nothing Sweetie, just go on doing what you have to.'
He stopped.
'No, Doctor Song.' He grabbed her hand. He looked for her eyes but she lowered her head. 'What's wrong, River? Tell me.' He asked. She looked worried and shook her head.
'Tell me the wars you're fighting behind your hiding smile.' He got worried. She shook her head more and did not speak.
'I know you want to say all the things.' He smiled weakly. She looked up at him and faked a smile.
'Can't.' was the only word she told. He sighed.
'I try my best to find out but there is no light to guid me.' He spoke to her. She laughed a bit and frowned.
'Since when are you so poetical?' She asked grinning. He laughed a bit.
'Just to make you smile.' He answered and smoothed her face. She closed her eyes at his touch and moved his head on his hand. He looked more worried.
'River...' he whispered.
'Sorry Sweetie.' She stirred and moved away. She stood with her back to him now. He crossed his arms and frowned.
'What? So now I can't touch you either?' He asked irately. She spinned to face him and frowned.
'What are you talking about?' She asked same edgily.
'You aren't telling me who you are. And I got used to it. You keep doing unreasonable things but I got used to it. You show up random times and I got used to it. Maybe I deserve an answer now.' He said angriy. She pulled her eyebrows.
'Deserve an answer?!' She said hard.
'Yes. Don't behave like you wouldn't kown what I am talking about. I can't fight you anymore River.' He said.
'So we're so far gone?' She asked bitterly. 'You are importuning now?'
'I don't importune!' He pealed. 'You know I can't sleep beside a stanger now.'
Her face darkened and her arms fell livelessly on her sides.
'Stranger?' She whispered unbelievingly.
'Yes! I don't know you River Song, don't tell me anything different!' He cried aloud.
Peace by peace she fell apart. Every beat slowed down her hearts.
'You can't say this serious.' Her voice was only a ghost's.
He stepped closer but his face was unfeatured.
'Who are you, River Song?' He breathed at her. She closed her eyes in pain and did not answer. He turned back and walked to the consol. He started to push arms angrily.
'I know all the things you want to say so I'll just say what you won't. And I take the blame if it's for your sake.' She sighed painfully.
'Maybe you deserve an answer indeed.' She began with it. 'But I can't break rules. Your rules actually. So I leave now. Think about what you've said.'
'You aren't my mother.' He threw out.
'No. I'm not.' She said plainly. He threw her a glimps of hatred. She stepped to the door.
'Please lift me to the 52nd century.' She said silently. He pushed some buttons and pulled the yellow arm. The TARDIS shook hard and landed. She sighed deep and opened the door. She was one foot out the door when he turned and called her name.
'River...'
His voice was more calm.
'Yes Doctor?' She faked a smile.
'Nothing.' He said silently.
She nodded.
'See you Sweetie.'
And with that she was out the door.
He started to pilot the TARDIS but just to the Time Vortex. He collapsed on the floor and sighed deep and bitterly. He rubbed his forehead and felt incredibly guilty. She was so kind to him. But he had to shout with her and push her away. He did it all the time.
She stepped into her cell and when the lock clang she slipped on the floor. She did not cry. Not in front of him, not when it was about him. He loved her. Just had to realize it.
She heard the so-well-known noise of the TARDIS just minuits after she got back. She was still sitting on the floor of her cell, breathing hardly with watered eyes. She did not turned when she heard the door opening. She knew the Doctor stood in the doorway crossed his arms and looking at her. But she couldn't turn to face him.
'This prison cell used to be a shelter when you were there to me.' she said with a sad smile. She was playing with her nails. She heard his footsteps towards the bars but still did not turned.
'I've tried hard to remember every time when you was young and unknowing that you will love me one time.' She shook her head. Tears began to fall from her eyes. She sighed deeply. Why she had to cry this time?! She knew he would notice it but tried to wipe the tears away. She felt him kneeling behind her. She could hear his breath.
'You know it was hard. To see the unknowing is your eyes. That you don't know who I was. It hurt.'
She frowned and tried hard not to sob.
She heard his sigh and the guilt in his breath.
'Do you love me, Doctor?' She asked at last. He caught up his head.
'River...' He whispered and reached to touch her shoulder. 'Please...'
She froze. It was the same Doctor who was shouting at her. She thought he remembered his behave and came back from his future to calm her but no. He was from the same time when they parted.
She jumped up immediately and spinned to look at him. He was sitting on his heels and looked up at her with guilt and pain. Slowly he stood up and reached to hold her hand. She bowed her head and shook it. She was expecting everything but this. She felt tears falling from her eyes. He gently soniced the lock and let himself into the cell. He put his arms around her and held her tight. She sobbed silently.
'I love you River Song although I don't know who you are.' He said silently. 'And I'm so sorry about what I said. I'm such an idiot.'
She laughed a bit.
'Yes you are.' she said sniffling 'But you are my idiot.' She said and hugged him tighter. He smoothed her hair and gave a kiss on the top of her head. He sighed deeply. Adn then he pushed her away gently and held her chin in his hand. She smiled weakly.
'Oh gosh I wish I could hit myself sometimes in the head.' He said with a sigh. Her tears weakened him. She did not answer but closed the space between their faces and kissed him. He deepened the kiss and held her tighter. Not like last time. Last time she kissed him but he did not expected. It was his first kiss with her. But now – now he felt he could kiss her forever. He hugged her and smoothed her back when they parted. And so they stood. Silently, forgetting all troubles of theirs for the moment.